Defiant - The Natalie Foster Story
by AntigoneBlack
Summary: Natalie Prior, the mother of the Tris is a mystery to her children, a quiet and selfless person that they never imagined as anything other than Abnegation. But once she was a sixteen year old girl in Dauntless, faced with a difficult choice. And she chooses defiance.
1. Aptitude

**A/N: Just something that demanded to be written when I should have been working on essays. Planning on a small three part series on Natalie Prior, on who she was before Tris ever knew her. This is her aptitude test and choosing ceremony, the second her first days in Abnegation and the final section on Tris and Caleb's choosing and her return to the Dauntless. **

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Divergent. The word sticks to my throat like a spoonful of molasses. Don't say it out loud, do not tell anyone. I never expected this. I never expected to be different. I knew I was different, not like my faction but not like this. Not wrong. And this feels wrong.

The examiner, a middle aged Abnegation woman, gives me a look of concern. I don't want her pity, but yet there's a softness about her that makes me want to cling to her and never let go.

"Natalie, I shouldn't tell you this, I can get into trouble, but I feel like it's for your best interest," she finally says, Emily, that's what she said her name was. Her plain clothes and neat hair is so different than anything that I have ever known. Could I be like her one day? The test results say I could be. Divergent. Abnegation and Dauntless. Do I stay with what I know, the world that I grew up in or do I join these simple people who do everything for others?

"I am not supposed to sway your decision, it is yours alone to make but I feel like you should know. You will be safe with us. No one will ever learn your secret, no one would even ask. I cannot say the same for Dauntless. Stay here as long as you need, I am sure you wouldn't want to go home with those red cheeks."

Red cheeks? I hadn't even realized that I had been crying. I rub some of the black makeup off my cheek, mascara and eyeliner that had run down my face as I learned my fate. I nod, trying my best to look brave for the woman could probably care less. My pride wants me to remain strong, but I push that aside and walk over to Emily and wrap my arms around her. "Thank you."

After a few minutes in Emily's arms I feel safe enough to leave the room and head home. I start to run knowing that a train is only minutes away and I will need to move fast in order to catch it. I push through a group of Erudites, who speak in low whispers about the science behind the test. They yell after me, telling me that I am just another reckless Dauntless. I turn back for a split second, catching the eye of an Erudite boy who looks distracted. I start running faster knowing that I am about to miss the train that will take me home. It will be another eighteen minutes for the next one, not a lifetime, but I need the chaos of The Pit to calm me.

As I approach the tracks I see the train in the distance I had missed it, and only by moments. I slow, sighing at the train in the distance.

Now I find myself alone with my thoughts, for the first time since I was in front of the mirror this morning. The Dauntless life is not one of solitude or of quiet, one of the things I have often disliked about the place, but now I crave it. I crave its chatter and laughter, it is better than being here alone with my mind.

Did I know this would happen? Did I know that I was different? For how long have I known?

I think of a day, years ago when we were just children playing at being like our fearless parents. Out in the schoolyard the children gather, almost always by faction and I found myself standing apart from the others. I watch as the group of Dauntless run over to the children of the Amity, the cheerful and positive children dressed in colors that reminded me of the sun.

I was getting a drink of water, I remember as I think about the moment, that's why I was away from everyone. Taylor, one of the boys from my year breaks through the crowd and approaches them, pushing the shoulder of one of the brightly dressed boys. I watch from a distance as the confrontation continues, Taylor urging the boy to fight back. The Amity boy was never going to fight back, it goes against their nature and Taylor knows that. He wants to show how tough he is, how fearless but I don't see bravery, I see a bully.

I run up as Taylor pushes the boy to the ground and I stand in between them. "Punch me," I yell in his face as the other dauntless children cheer him on. I look down at the boy I was protecting and the tears that stream down his face. The crowd in black pauses as they see what I have done, unsure of what will happen next.

"Get out of the way, Nat!" Taylor tells me.

"What did he do to you? Huh? What could this kid possibly have done to you?" I ask him, "If you want to hurt someone, hurt me. Wanna look tough, hit me!"

"What a stiff!" someone in the mass of black and silver yells out. The group laughs at the comment, which was meant to hurt me.

I take a deep breath and maintain my ground. "I'm braver than the rest of you combined, because I took the chance of getting hit to protect someone who didn't deserve it. If that doesn't make me Dauntless, I don't know what does."

A ten year old with a smart mouth, putting aside her own safety for someone she doesn't even know. Was it then that I knew something about me was different? Or was it not until later?

Zoe, one of my closest friends, runs up alongside me, a large smile on her face, snapping me out of my memory. "Nat, how'd it go? Was kinda creepy wasn't it?"

I just nod, pretending that everything was fine. Like my result was Dauntless, as I am sure hers was. We talk and laugh, before running after the next train, hopping on without a second thought. It was instinct now, jumping into a train. Tomorrow might be the last time that I jump on a train; I could walk away from this life forever… Tomorrow I could be Abnegation.

Walking into the Pit the excitement of the day has everyone up and about. I search through the crowd for Alexandra, my older sister, but can't find her among the younger Dauntless. I walk to the piercing parlor where she spends most of her time and walk in, taking in the scent of the disinfectant and metal.

The curtain to the back room slides open and Alex walks out, a friend of hers laughing at her side. "So that makes fourteen piercings in that ear?" she asks him with a grin.

"Hey, I'm just making sure you get all the practice you need so you can start your own place someday," he replies. He gives me a wave as he exits the shop, knowing the importance of the day I have ahead of me.

"What are you doing here, Nat? You should be at home, thinking or whatever."

"Don't want to think. About anything."

"That bad huh? I know it's kinda gruesome but you'll get over it. You're the strongest girl I know. And if I can make it through initiation, so can you. All you have to do is survive, finish the landscape in under an hour and you're in. And knowing you, you'll be the top of the board, leadership for sure, the apple of mom's eye as always."

I shake my head. Her confidence in me gives me hope; I can and will stay here. This is my home; this is my family. My loud and obnoxious and almost always out of control family. Being a full member of the Dauntless is what we all dream of as children. They are our mothers and our fathers, our protectors and one day we will be that for other children. But whenever I pictured my life after initiation I never considered what my role would be. I only knew that it was what was expected from me, never considering if it was what I wanted for myself.

"Come back here, I'll take your mind off it. What about another nose ring next to that hoop you have there? It'll make you look even more badass."

I smile and follow her, wondering what I would be doing if I was not Dauntless. What do the Amity do in the evenings? The Candor? I push the thought aside, knowing that there is no life for me except this one.

The piercing looks good, and barely hurt compared to some of the ones that I had allowed Alex to do. Dauntless children are allowed piercings at age 13, but have to wait to until after the choosing ceremony for their first tattoos. Just in case.

I walk home, avoiding my friends as I navigate the halls until I reach the apartment that I share with my mother. My father was a faction leader, he led the security force that monitored the factionless until one day he was stabbed on the street and left to die. He died a brave death, honoring our family and to the faction. My mother was still a leader, but what she did for us, I was never quite sure. She refused to talk about her work, telling me that it was something I could know eventually, not that it ever stopped my questions.

When I open the door my mother sits at the table, waiting. "Natalie, sit."

I do as she says, not accustomed to her stern face. This is the face she uses when she speaks in front of the faction, not the smile she wears at home. Sitting down I see there is a sheet of paper in front of her. My results. Something that she was never supposed to see.

"How did you get that?" I ask her, my voice shaking with fear. What would she do if she knew I was that unspeakable thing?

She shakes her head. "It doesn't matter. And to anyone other than me it wouldn't be noticed. Emily recoded the test well, you have straight Dauntless choices through the entirety of the exam."

I close my eyes, waiting for impact. Waiting for the moment she tells me to leave, that she can't stand the sight of her Divergent daughter.

"Leave, Natalie. Leave Dauntless," she tells me her voice low and labored. "I've known for awhile what your result would be, and I've done my best to help you remain Dauntless, but I've learned you can't fight a person's nature, Natty."

Natty. She hadn't called me that since I was a child. I can see the tears welling in her eyes, her body wanting to release the emotion but her brain holding her back. "It's not safe for you here. The newer leaders, the younger ones, are compiling evidence to eliminate divergence in the Dauntless. Says that it makes the person weak. What they don't understand is that it's also what makes us strong."

Us. My mother is Divergent and she wants to protect me. "I can't, this is the only thing I've ever known."

"You aren't safe here. They will take care of you, the Abnegation, they will take you as one of their own. In a year, I won't even be able to recognize you. You can have a life there, a family of your own, but you have to leave."

I nod. After what Emily and now my mother told me I am starting to see that the world is not safe for people like me, people like us. The best thing I can do is try to blend in, and there would be no easier place to do that than with the Stiffs. They were hospitable and selfless, lacking in the pride and recklessness that my faction was known for.

Standing up, I walk to the bedroom and lie down in bed, staring at the ceiling. I should be saying goodbye to my home, but something tells me that I will be here again someday. I picture my life away from these walls, from the people that I know and love. Would Zoe and Mark understand? Would Alex?

I fall into a fitful sleep, twitching and rolling through the night as I battle my thoughts. In the morning I wake to my sister holding up a black dress with cutouts made of black mesh. It's the dress I'd been eyeing for a few months now, unable to afford it. "Alex, you shouldn't have spent your money on me," I tell her, sounding like the Stiff that I was to become.

"Oh shut up and put the dress on! It's your big day, and by the end of the week you'll be so battered and bruised it will look awful on you."

"Thanks?" I say as I get up and grab the dress. Will she come to visit me next week? What will she think of what I have become? I put on the dress along with some fishnet tights and join my family at the table. Alex is chattering about her newest boyfriend, a guard on the wall. Mom is displeased, saying that her daughter deserves someone better than a guard. Everything is normal, it's just another day here.

"I gotta stop by my place before I go to work, but that dress looks killer on you sister. I'll be watching you at the ceremony today, so don't screw up and bleed all over the floor like that Amity kid did last year."

I laugh as she walks out the door but stop when I hear the door slam. Putting on a show for her was difficult enough, and knowing how much she spent on a dress that I will never get to wear after today was harder. "Pay her back for the dress, please? There should be enough on the dresser."

My mother nods. "Be brave today, Natty. Be very brave."

She stands and leaves the apartment; I'm sure to do last minute preparation for the new class of initiates that will be coming in this afternoon. Only she and I know that I will not be among them. The daughter of a leader leaving the faction is unheard of, treason at its greatest. This is the path that she wants for me, a life of simplicity and safety. But I am starting to wonder if it will even be worth it.

Lying about my result has already become second nature in less than twenty-four hours, wouldn't it just become easier with time? Once I make it through initiation I wouldn't have to worry, no one would dare point fingers at me once I was a member… but if what my mother said was true, that I was in danger if I stayed here, why wouldn't I leave? Because I was afraid? Maybe staying is the coward's choice, and leaving the fearless might just be the bravest thing of all.

School was canceled before the ceremonies so I run down to catch up with Zoe and Mark. We grab a bagel and chat about the initiation, what it's going to be like, how we are going to rank against each other.

"You'll come in first by the end, I just know it," Mark tells me with a playful shove. "You might not have the brawn, but you sure as hell have the brains for the second and third stages. Not that I won't try and beat you, of course."

I roll my eyes, pretending as though I care about how I would rank against my classmates. Looking down the table I see Taylor, his head in his hands, silent. We have never gotten along, he always hated me for calling him out for being a liar but I can see that he's troubled. As Mark and Zoe stand up, wanting to go by the tattoo parlor for ideas for later in the week I wave them off and sit down across from Taylor.

"What do you want Nat?" he asks me.

"You're switching, aren't you?" I state it as a question even though I already know the answer. He would never look that depressed if he was gearing up for Dauntless initiation. Everyone else seems thrilled at the prospect of learning more self defense and shooting weapons.

He nods. "Amity, can you believe it?" he laughs.

I know that he's referring to his incessant bullying of the bubbly people from Amity and I give him a knowing look. Once I thought about it though, I wasn't all that surprised. Everyone knew that his brothers knocked him around growing up, and a few times he even had to be sent to the hospital in the city. Aggression has shown it's ugly side to Taylor; it wasn't surprising that in the end he might choice peace.

"Abnegation."

"A stiff? Well, can't say I'm surprised really. Have you told anyone?"

I shake my head. "I think my mom figured it out though, you?"

He shakes his head. "Figured it best not to tell the family. Never know how they'd react."

I understand where he is coming from, and wonder where he'll be the next time I see him, if I ever do. The cafeteria continues to empty out as more people head out to the ceremony, into the central part of the city. Taylor and I shake hands as we part, knowing that the other will keep our secret.

I take one last walk around the floor of the pit, staring up at the sky above, and give it a silent goodbye. I see the masses of people working their way up to the platform and a wide grin takes over my face. I will miss the solidarity of the Dauntless, the way that they move together as a unit when they face a similar task. A single unit, yet each person unique, giving their personal flair to their body through their clothes and tattoos. Each one has a story displayed on their person for the world to see, whether it a blue Mohawk or a tattoo of a snake wrapping around their arm, each dauntless is proud of who they are. Pride is just one of the things I have to give up today. Running alongside my faction the weight of reality starts to set in. I am losing more than I ever thought to stay safe. All because I am divergent.

When the entire faction needs to catch a train, it's a sight to see. The families prepare themselves, throwing children on their shoulders or pushing their children to move faster in order to get the train. It's an act of teamwork as a group of men are the first to heist themselves into the moving train, their wives throwing children up to them before getting in themselves. Finally it's our turn, the teenagers and the younger Dauntless, the last to catch the train, and the most likely to miss it.

I see Alex by my side as we pump our legs pushing ourselves to leap into the final train car. As I hit the floor of the car I sigh in relief, and laugh. It would have been pretty amusing to miss my final train.

I stand next to my sister, half of my body outside the door of the train car as I watch the city get closer and closer and eventually go by. I will miss the feeling of the wind in my hair and the constant threat of falling out onto the pavement below. The stop approaches and the Dauntless prepare themselves for landing, gathering in formation at the doors for the most effective exit.

I am one of the first of my car to jump out, and I run forward in order to allow others to come behind me. Mark runs up to me and puts his arm around my waist. Just yesterday this action would have sent chills down my spine, but today it just reminds me of my betrayal. I loosen myself from his grip and make fun of him, diffusing the tension before we find the other sixteen-year-old Dauntless and together make a run towards the rest of our year.

As we slow I notice the same Erudite boy from the day before, and try my best to remember his name. He's clever, but not a show-off like the rest of his faction, making it harder for me to place him. He gives me a nod and I return the gesture with a confused look. I see him laugh and I wonder what could possibly be so humorous.

We pile as a group up the stairs and find our places. I barely hear the words the Amity leader is saying as I try and find my mother in the audience. She sits in the first row of Dauntless, along with the other leaders. She looks calm and collected, as always. Does she know that I still don't know which faction I am going to choose? They speak on the history of the factions, the core values, the things I have heard every year for as long as I can remember. Whenever I pictured this day I always saw myself choosing my faction, Dauntless. I never considered anything else.

The ceremony begins and my focus turns to the pillars ahead of me as each person stands in front and makes their decision. Most people are calm or even smiling as they place their hand above the faction they were born into. The first transfer, as always, gets a gasp from the crowd, and I am just glad that it wasn't me.

"Prior, Andrew." The boy who winked at me stands up and walks to the front, his expression like a stone. He removes his glasses and places them on the floor in front of the Erudite, an act that confuses everyone. Whispers start growing as everyone tries to figure out what he is trying to say.

I know what he's saying. He's saying that he doesn't believe in the Erudite. His fake glasses are just one of the many lies that surround the faction and he doesn't want to be a part of it anymore. He slices his hand and places it over Abnegation, the blood dripping on the grey stones.

He looks up at me again, and this time I am the one to wink.

"Foster, Natalie."

I take a deep breath as I hear my name and stand proud, straight and composed. I don't want anyone to think I doubted my decision. I slice my hand open and I walk over to Dauntless.

After a few seconds I place my hand over to the right of my body and let the blood fall into Abnegation. I look to the Dauntless and see their confusion and I give them a small smile. This is my act of defiance.

I am Natalie Foster and I am Divergent.


	2. Intiation

**A/N: To the person that noted that Natalie did have a tattoo under her armpit, hold on we'll get there! (By the end of the chapter really!) **

**Also big thanks to everyone who is reading this story, I know that Divergent isn't really a fanfiction haven like TVD or HP so thanks for giving it a shot with me. This chapter already showed me that this 3 part story is probably going to make it to 4! (Maybe five, we'll see). **

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The rest of the ceremony goes rather smoothly, there are never too many surprises at a choosing ceremony. Looking over at what was now my old faction I could see the whispers as they tried to determine why I and four other Dauntless born, including Taylor had left them. This was the largest number of transfers out of Dauntless in recent history, at least as long as I can remember. In Faction History I remember overhearing the teacher saying something about how in the early years changing factions was pretty typical, and that there was more interaction between family members after the transfer. It was only later that the idea that faction over blood came into play, placing the factions against one another.

After the ceremony, the Dauntless stood up quickly and headed towards the doors and instinct told me to stand up as well.

"We wait until everyone else has left," the girl to my right, dressed in gray, informs me. Abnegation born, she already has the life of selflessness down, and I have way too much to learn.

I nod and take my seat again. There are only eleven initiates for Abnegation, smaller than any of the other factions, and only three were transfers. Other than myself and the Erudite boy, Andrew, there was a girl from Amity that transferred as well.

We sit and wait as the room empties out, and then wait as the older Abnegation reluctantly take the initiative to go first, even though they told the younger ones to go ahead of them. I can already see this 'No, you first' policy driving me crazy and it's only been a half hour since I made the choice to join them. After the initial discussion over whom should lead the group out, the gray sea stands up and moves, walking silently and slowly. The silence is eerie, yet peaceful and I can't figure out if I like it or miss the chaotic movements and noises of yesterday. I can hear my mother's voice in my head telling me that I will have to like it to survive and I continue walking silently through the streets of the city.

I knew that the Abnegation portion of the city was past the factionless neighborhood, but I had never seen it. As we walk through the destroyed buildings, a remnant of a war long past my mouth hangs open. Occasionally I see a face in the rubble, dirty and pale. The factionless. Becoming factionless is something to be feared, drilled into us at the earliest moments of our lives. It was the constant threat hanging over everything, be careful or you might become factionless. In reality it was those who were seen as traitors to their faction, or those who for some reason ran away from their homes that found themselves amongst the destruction. In Dauntless it was an act of pure cowardice that could land you factionless, or being unable to finish your fear landscape, which happened once every few years. Trials were held to determine if the act of cowardice deserved exile from the Dauntless, and usually it was the expected outcome.

Looking at the faces that glanced at us, watching as the Abnegation that had packed a lunch left the remainder of their food near the doors of these buildings I had pity for them. Especially the children. Being born factionless meant no future to speak of, no education. If they were lucky the Abnegation would hire them to do a job maintaining the city, cleaning streets or picking up trash. But those jobs were few when compared to the number of Factionless that roamed this portion of the city.

One little girl with light brown hair peeked out at the crowd that walked by. I had nothing to give her but I felt moved to do something. I wore a dark red flannel shirt under my jacket, tied around my waist over the dress my sister had gotten me and without realizing it I had already taken it off and started walking over to her. She reached her thin arm out the window and I handed the shirt to her, the only thing I could think of.

"Warm?" she asked me.

"Yes, very warm," I told her, flashing a smile. My appearance, metal rings and spikes coming from my face and my vibrant red and pink hair probably startled the girl, who had more than likely only seen Dauntless as enforcers, not as assisters to her family.

She eyed me curiously and put on the shirt, the sleeves much too long for her little body. How could she be seen as dangerous? I didn't understand what my faction could possibly think was threatening about these terrified and hungry people. They needed help, not to be treated as criminals.

I jogged to catch up with the rest of the abnegation and noticed a smile on the face of the young woman that was directing the initiates. It seems as though I'd done something right today, even though I still felt completely out of place compared to the Abnegation.

Finally I see matching grey houses ahead of me. Abnegation houses, there was no other real way to explain it. Simple and efficient boxes, each the same as the one before it. Further ahead I could see the meeting halls and the other community buildings that housed the volunteer work that the Abnegation did, and wondered what each held, and where my place among them would be.

Families start walking towards their homes and soon enough only the initiates remain. The young woman that is in charge of us finally speaks as the last of the Abnegation return to their homes. "Welcome to Abnegation to our transfers, and welcome to initiation for all of you. Over the next month you will be spending your days helping the various services that the Abnegation offer, giving you a look into the adult life of Abnegation. At the end of the month the leaders will speak with each initiate individually and place you into a career path that will suit the needs of the faction and highlights your skill set. You may not have the job you wanted, but a life of service means not always getting what you want."

I was slightly drawn back by her harsh words. I always pictured the Abnegation as quiet and kind, but selflessness doesn't always mean kindness, it means doing what is best for the whole. I will have to remind myself of this as time goes on, as I start to realize that this might be harder than I originally thought.

"For the next month each initiate will be placed with an Abnegation family, where they will learn how life is lived here. Those of you born from Abnegation will be placed with different families in the sake of fairness," she continues. "My name is Anne Marie, and I will be leading you for the next month. You are to come with me with any questions or concerns and I will do my best to instill the virtues of the faction to you."

Anne Marie walks amongst the houses and places an initiate into the predetermined families, until only the three transfers remain. "Before you are placed in your new family we are going to the shopping center and outfitting you in some Abnegation clothes," she explains. We walk past the houses and small apartment complexes until we reach the larger community buildings.

"We do not use currency in Abnegation, as money causes vanity, egotism, competition and most importantly selfishness. Instead each member takes only what he or she needs, which is determined by the leaders of the faction. For today you will each choose four complete ensembles and as time passes you will have access to ten complete outfits, the Abnegation standard."

Ten outfits? Ten. I try to wrap my head around such a low number. I loved my closet back in Dauntless, and I would save up all I had to make sure I had the next best thing available. Now I would be limited, and fashion would no longer be a priority in my life. I know that I am frowning, but I was just starting to realize the reach of Abnegation values.

I feel an elbow in my side and I wince, more out of shock than pain. I look over to see Andrew giving me a knowing look. I can already tell that this is going to be an interesting month if I have to spend it next to this smart ass.

I let out a low groan, so that only he can hear. It was a warning, telling him not to mess with me. Not today, not when I'm already facing all this change, I didn't need him making it worse.

We walk into the shopping center and I notice it's plain and simple displays. The store sells everything, clothes, food, cleaning supplies, anything an Abnegation family would need all in smaller departments within the large space. Anne Marie leads the Amity girl and I to the female clothing, and then directs Andrew to the other section, for men.

"I'm Pax," she says to me once we are left alone. Her rust colored long skirt and yellow loose top aren't too far from the Abnegation gray clothes that lay in front of us. We hadn't had a moment to speak yet; I wasn't used to such long silence and knew my voice would soon suffer. Pax was a common name among the Amity, it means peace in Latin, and I remember my cousin telling me that once. I hadn't thought of him in years, a transfer to Erudite that was never really talked about again after he left. Would that be me one day? Would Alex stop thinking about me one day, forgetting she ever had a sister? I knew I would never forget her, never forget this day and the decision I made that took me away from her.

"Nat…" I pause a moment before I finish, "Natalie."

She smiles and nods before looking through the racks of clothes. I start my search and it doesn't take me long to realize my inner fashion lover would have to be dulled in this place. I choose a couple sensible jackets, three pairs of pants and a skirt and finish with a couple blouses and tops. I bring them to the front of the store and wait for Andrew and Anne Marie to rejoin us.

Anne Marie speaks with the cashier and we walk up to them, entering our information into the system. Natalie Foster, sixteen, initiate. That's who I was now.

As we walk out of the store Anne Marie hands a bag to me, inside is a box of blonde hair dye, close to my natural hair color. "I thought you might like this," she says to me with a smile.

No, I would not. She is trying to be considerate but I find the subliminal message that underlies the act of kindness. You must be rid of your old self. You must take on our way of life. Pink and red hair and facial piercings will not be accepted here. But I know that blending in is my best chance of making my mother proud. I know that she has to know something that I do not, and so I will become abnegation, heart and soul.

We leave the shopping center and head back towards the houses. "After initiation where will we live?" Andrew asks.

"The apartment complexes here," Anne Marie gestures to the taller structures in front of us, "are for single and couples without children."

"And do the Abnegation have any particular courting rituals?" Andrew continues.

"Courting?" I ask with a laugh. I had never heard the word said out loud, at least in a serious manner.

"Natalie, we do not laugh at the expense of our fellow man. I am not sure how it works with other factions, but here when someone takes an interest in another, they generally show their affection through acts of service. Then they will make their feelings known verbally and the couple starts to spend more time together before deciding on marriage."

No laughing at other people's expense? This was going to be difficult. It was just part of life in the Dauntless to make fun of someone was a way to show affection towards him or her. My life was changing completely and I wasn't exactly sure if I was going to make it through.

"Interesting, and what about weekends, what do the Abnegation do then?"

Anne Marie continues to answer the questions that Andrew asks and Pax and I stand by and listen. Finally Pax is led to a home and only Andrew and I are left alone.

"Have you ever heard the phrase 'Curiosity killed the Cat?'" I ask him.

Andrew gives me a puzzled look. "I grew up in Erudite, what do you think?"

"Is that sarcasm? I think they don't do sarcasm around here," I quip back.

"I guess that will just have to stay between us," he says with another wink. Did this kid have an eye twitch or did he really wink that much?

Anne Marie places Andrew and I in homes next door to each other, and I am introduced to Jonathan and Beatrice Cole, a young Abnegation couple with a small daughter named Mary. Jonathan quickly returns to work after meeting me, having a few things that he wanted to finish before the end of the day.

Mary is quick to show me to my room before she gives me a tour of the house, her instinct to help and serve already instilled into her small mind. After the tour of the home I enter the kitchen and start helping to prepare the meal for the evening with Beatrice.

She explains to me the rotation of cooking and cleaning up that her and her husband have to keep things fair and even. "We will add you to rotation," she told me blankly. I nodded and smiled as I continued to chop vegetables for the soup that we were working on. Beatrice was warm and friendly, and didn't seem put off by my clothes or appearance as we waited for dinner to finish I took a moment to run upstairs to the room that I was placed in and changed into a comfortable pair of gray pants and a top. I spun in place looking for a mirror but was unable to find one. I may not look the part just yet, but the change of clothes made me feel less like an outsider.

I head back downstairs just in time, as dinner was just hitting the table. Jonathan had just made it home from work, where he working on the council that created laws for the benefit of the city.

"Natalie, welcome to our home, and for the month you should consider it yours as well, we wouldn't want anything less," he said with a pleasing smile. He was sincere and kind, no hint of the fakeness that I would have expected.

I smile and nod, "Thank you, you have been so kind already letting an initiate stay in your home."

Jonathan looks over at his wife, and her head bows, looking at the floor. There was more to the story than they were letting on. I had a feeling a lot of things were left unsaid in this faction, as lashing out in anger was a sign of selfishness and pride.

The family sits down at dinner and the conversation is calm and collected. They ask a lot of questions about me and my life, and I did my best to answer without bragging and asking considerate questions back. I noticed that Mary was silent through the whole meal, giving only brief answers to the questions that I ask.

After dinner I help Jonathan with the plates, cleaning alongside him in silence. He insists that I don't need to help, but it feels right to do my part to help this family that has taken me in. This was different than Dauntless, where the initiates live in dormitories before they become members, trapped together in barrack style housing. I had only seen it once, when Alexandra was in training.

The evening was quiet, as we sat in the living room, Beatrice knitting and Jonathan reading the paper. Jonathan excused himself after a while to put Mary to bed, leaving me with the now even quieter Beatrice. Her demeanor had changed since her husband came home, like my presence was something she had to be guilty for.

"I'm sorry for my husband's coldness, he always gets a little irritated at initiation," she explains as she sets down her needles.

I shake my head, "I don't know what you mean, he's been nothing but kind to me."

"Yes, but not warm," she told me. And I can't say she was wrong. "The thing is, Jonathan is a transfer, from Candor. And when I volunteered our family to house an initiate he wasn't very pleased. It brings back some memories for him."

Things were starting to click into place. Jonathan didn't like being reminded of the family and the faction that he left behind. And the fact that I was a transfer probably just made it worse. I thought about the way that I would handle the initiations in the future, knowing that I would have to face my old faction and watch as we watch the teenagers make their life altering decisions… it would be difficult at best.

I push a piece of bright red hair out of my face and remember the bag that Anne Marie had handed me. "Beatrice, tomorrow would you help me with my hair?"

"Of course, I can't say I'll be any good at it, since we don't dye our hair here, but I can try."

I smile and excuse myself for bed. We would start working early in the morning and today had already been too long. I fell asleep in the white bed sheets almost instantly, the comfort of the bed and the simplicity of the room causing a peaceful sleep.

The next morning came too soon and I found myself biting on a piece of lightly buttered toast before I headed out the door to head to the main community building where we would start our first day of volunteer work.

Andrew ran out the door to meet me, and I looked him over, eyeing his grey clothes and shorter haircut. "You did your hair like them too…" I said as he approached.

"Something I thought you would have done…" he replied as he grabbed a strand of pink hair from in front of my face, tucking it behind my ear. I stuck my tongue out at him, trying to diffuse the tension that I felt between us in that moment.

I remained quiet on our short walk to the main community center, looking over at Andrew occasionally, who didn't seem to mind that I wasn't really listening, he still kept speaking to me as though I was. He told me about his host family, and a lot of other nonsense that I didn't really pay that much attention to.

Finally we reached the doors and inside found the large room inside stacked with boxes. Anne Marie walked over to us and explained that inside the boxes were recycled clothes from all the factions and that our job this week was to determine what was still usable to be able to give to the factionless.

As the rest of the group started to get to work, Anne Marie pulled me aside. I cringed, knowing that she was once again going to discipline me about my hair. She started her lecture, telling me about how it was in my own self-interest to blend in and that it would make the transition easier for me if I were to dye it. I told her that I had planned to do so that evening, but I could hear my rebellious heart in pain from being stripped of it's individuality.

The day went by slowly as we sorted through the clothes, first to see if they weren't completely unable to be used and then by size and gender. It was only boring because we had Anne Marie chirping away about the faction and what to expect when we were members. I found myself zoning out as much as possible, although I knew that it would be better to listen and learn so that I could learn how not to single myself out as divergent.

I went to my new home that evening and found Beatrice doing laundry, an excited Mary telling her mother about what she learned in school. Beatrice asked her daughter questions and the girl was more than glad to respond, since it was the main part of the day where she had the luxury of speaking freely. I wondered if this child was going to be Abnegation like her parents, since she seemed much too loud and bossy to be part of the grey suited clan. If she was a transfer, I wondered if Jonathan would go to visit her, or would he be too heart broken?

I headed upstairs and found a book on the shelf to read, and did so until I heard a knock at the door. Beatrice's hands were in rubber gloves and she had a small smile on her face. "I looked at all the directions for the hair dye and I think I get it!"

I smiled back, "If not I have done it a hundred times, so I can help you if you forget anything," I tell her as I stand up and walk with her to the home's small bathroom.

She tells me about her work with the food pantry, sorting the food produced through out the city and making sure that it is evenly distributed among the other factions as she starts to remove the red and pink from my head.

An hour later I step out of the bathroom and head downstairs to dinner looking completely different, my now blonde hair neatly tied behind my neck. Beatrice told me that it was still a little too short to warrant a haircut, and that Abnegation women kept their hair at a certain length so that it could be easily managed by braiding or by placing in a low ponytail. My hair barely made it into the band that I wrapped it with, so it definitely would have some growing to do.

The next day I walk to the community center alone, and I wonder what is going on back home. If Mark is winning his fights and if my sister was still upset that I was missing. In only a few days she would be given the chance to see me, but something told me that she wasn't going to make it. It would be too hard for her to see me like this, plain and away from all the excitement of our faction. Her faction, I remind myself, Abnegation is my faction now.

The work is soothing as the week progresses and I fight for any opportunity to go into the factionless sector, as it is there that I find my purpose. It becomes very clear to me that a lot of the factionless are like me, Divergent, unable to fit into whatever faction they chose when they were sixteen. I feel like it is my duty to help them, and start to bond with them very quickly.

The next Monday is visiting day, and the initiates make their way to the community center to wait to see if our families will appear. Andrew puts himself to work as soon as we reach the doors, telling us that he will like to be useful if he was going to be there all day. He seems to be selfless without even trying and I wonder if I will ever be able to reach that same degree of comfort with my new faction. As the morning starts I sit with Andrew, helping him with inventory of the clothing as we wait for our families.

"Who is coming for you?" I ask, realizing that I knew nothing about his family.

He shakes his head at me and looks over at me with his brown eyes. "No one. That's why I wanted something to do. I didn't want to sit here with my head in my hands all day."

I frown, not really sure what to say. I knew that my mother would at least stop by, since she was the one that sent me here in the first place. I hoped Alexandra would be with her, but I wasn't expecting it. "How do you know that they won't come?"

"I betrayed the faction. That is unforgivable given my family, considering they help run the faction. But I knew I had to leave," he said, keeping his eyes away from me and on the paper in front of him. "I realized that intelligence doesn't create compassion, that it made people prideful and told them it was okay to treat others as inferior. I couldn't live my life that way, so I left. And my parents and my brothers and sister will never forgive me for that."

I listened intently, understanding now why he knew that his family wouldn't show up. He did the unthinkable and now he was going to pay the price, and be without family. I knew I couldn't tell him the whole truth, so I settled on a partial one instead. "My mother is a leader of Dauntless, but I knew that I couldn't do it, I wasn't fearless like she was. Dauntless is changing, it is drifting away from the things it was built on and replacing them with recklessness and cruelty…"

Andrew nods and we both look up as the door opens, and for the first time today someone dressed in something other than gray appears. I smile as I look at my mother in her black combat boots and her camo pants, standing up and walking over to her quietly, even though my instinct was to run up to her and throw my arms around her.

"Mom!" I exclaim once I am only a few feet from her. I give her a hug and she gestures to the door. I nod and follow her outside.

Once we are alone she looks me over and smiles. "You look like your father, you look so much like him…" she says as she places her hand on the top of my head, like my dad once did.

"How are you? How is Alex? Is she okay?"

"We don't have time for that, Nat," she tells me sternly. "We are fine, your sister is handling it. I can't stay long…"

"It's Natalie now," I inform her. She nods a smile creeping onto her face before her sternness reappears.

"Natalie, you are safe here, remember that. And remember where you came from, because being selfless takes bravery. I wasn't supposed to come here, the other leaders advised me against it. But I had to see you for myself. I love you, and I can already see that you are going to be cared for here."

"What do you mean?"

"That boy, the Erudite one. He's taken with you anyone can see that. Take care of yourself, and someday I hope to see you again. Good luck."

My mother places a kiss on my forehead before she turns around and heads off. I'm left standing outside the center confused and disappointed, wishing only for my family to be together once again. I crouch in the grass, placing my head in my hands and cry for the first time since the aptitude test. I will remember where I came from; I will never forget the people that made me who I am.

I make a snap decision and an extremely selfish one as I run out of the Abnegation section and into the factionless. I wander the streets for nearly an hour before I find someone that is able to do what I ask. He trades me a tattoo for my lunch, and I humbly agree, knowing the payment was insufficient at best.

I return to Abnegation with a secret tucked under my arm. It is a chain, each link representing a person I never want to forget. There is one for each of my parents, Alex, Zoe and Mark, and the final one is pink. For Nat.

* * *

**Thanks for reading, send me a review with what you like, what you don't like and even what you would like to see in the future. Feel free to find me on tumblr at riverssongs as well if you want to stalk me. I'm cool with it. *throws confetti on readers* **


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